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ISSUE NO. 17

I think May makes people do stupid things. You get poisoned by the jasmine smells and the weeklong stretches of bird-chirpy cloudless sunny days, and you become a little delusional. Everyone around me is falling in love (stupid), or pursuing their dreams (stupid), or playing volleyball (the most stupid). But an argument could be made that people need to be stupid in May so that we end up out on the edges of cliffs that ultimately define us. In October, perhaps, you’ll regret whatever trap you fell into in May. You’ll wish you had been soberer and made more rational decisions. But rational decisions never really got anyone anywhere anyway. Progress only comes from failing miserably and then, with all you have in you, trying to reassemble what gets broken.

 

This month we have some excellent pieces about folly and freedom and failure — appropriate enough for this quietly diabolic season. With issue 17 we welcome a new humor editor (hello, Jocelyn Richards!), a new podcast, and featured art by the incredible Dmitry Borshch. Come back every Monday for fresh content; and go ahead and do whatever stupid thing your heart tells you to do.

 

Our featured artist this month is Dmitry Borshch. Dmitry was born in Dnepropetrovsk, studied in Moscow, today lives in New York. His drawings have been exhibited at the National Arts Club (New York), Brecht Forum (New York), ISE Cultural Foundation (New York), the State Russian Museum (Saint Petersburg). You can see more of his work here

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New Year’s Resolution Evolution

by Eddie Small

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New Year’s Resolution Evolution

 

2008: Stop picking nose.

 

2009: Stop picking nose in front of other people.

 

2010: Stop picking nose in front of wife.

 

2011: At least don’t do it when her parents are visiting.


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Out-Of-Office Drafts

by Blythe Roberson

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Out-Of-Office Drafts

 

Thank you for your e-mail. I am currently out of the office. I will be returning Monday, April 20th. For urgent matters please contact Monika Levin.


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Making The Grade

by Dana Perry

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Making The Grade

Every year, for the first two weeks of high school track practice, everyone on the team was mandated to run a mile composed of circles on the country blocks that surrounded our school. I was not a long-distance runner, I was a sprinter.


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I Appreciate You

by Maggie Cloos

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I Appreciate You

 

April 22, 2015

 

Dear Coworker,

 

I noticed this morning that you did not seek me out in the hallway and I fear my behavior last week may be to blame.


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Introducing The Maverick Obsidian Card

by Joe Veix

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Introducing The Maverick Obsidian Card

Hello «firstname»:

 

We’re pleased to announce your pre-approval for the American Express Maverick Obsidian credit card.

 


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Vanilla Ice’s Intro to Critical Theory Syllabus

by Cameron Hunt McNabb

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Vanilla Ice’s Intro to Critical Theory Syllabus

1/29- “Stop, collaborate, and listen”: Barthes and the Reader’s Role in Meaning-Making


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Falling

by Rich Ives

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Falling

 

Sorry.

 

No I’m not.

 

But it’s like this. My father died. And my mother and my younger sister and I didn’t. We grieved. We went through it. More or less as they say you do. Only something was left. Something wasn’t right.


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Which Maps Remain?

by Willa Conway

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Which Maps Remain?

I recently took a trip to Cleveland, Ohio, where my extended family has lived for generations. I stayed the night with my grandparents in their house that my great-grandfather built in 1941, right before World War II broke out. My grandmother’s father loved the property because it was large enough to have a little barn and some green space where he could go riding.


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Pinckney, Valerie and Elizabeth

by Tom Harper

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Pinckney, Valerie and Elizabeth

 

The parking lot of the little professor bookstore is filled with Hondas, Toyotas, Buicks and one ancient beat up red Japanese/American pickup truck (parked crooked).


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The Opposite of Dancing

by Sophie Lucido Johnson

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The Opposite of Dancing

On Saturday I went to a birthday party at a bar on the edge of the Quarter. It was a dance party: the music was loud, and people were drinking; on a stage at the back people tangled yards of tulle around each other like a rave-sized spider web, heads bowed in a boozy euphoria. I had never been to a party like this. I have always been aware of them, but I tend to steer clear of anything that involves close proximity to people, and late nights at bars.


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Song for Sunday Afternoons

by Marisa Clogher

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Song for Sunday Afternoons

We’d sit and eat dinner, three-hour long dinners in which we’d only eat for 30 minutes, listening to you talk about your brother, the way he shoved you behind a refrigerator once and you couldn’t get out for hours. You’d have your hair up in a bun, wisps of curls messily bulging from the scrunchie in your hair.


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Strange But Not a Stranger

by Roy White

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Strange But Not a Stranger

Our meeting was the friend version of a shotgun wedding. It was the summer after third grade, and when my big brothers came to visit, they decided that there was something not quite right about my solitary vacation routine: watching “The Price Is Right” and “The $10,000 Pyramid,” poring over atlases that I had persuaded some adult to borrow from the public library, and throwing a tennis ball against the front steps (I was Bob Gibson mowing down the ’64 Yankees, or sometimes the ’26 Yankees — my steps, my rules).


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Daughters of the Dust_Borshch

Superbusy #3

by Brian Fabry Dorsam

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Superbusy #3

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Brian Fabry Dorsam is the comics editor of Neutrons Protons

Shut Up, Internet #4

by Dave Hotstream

Diablo II

by Mackenzie Schubert

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Diablo II

 

 

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Mackenzie Schubert works as an illustrator, a graphic designer, and occasionally a maker of sculpture and furniture in Oakland. He makes excellent comics that you can buy to hold in your hands at PlainComics.com .