An Open Letter to the Man who Complimented My Snot-Blowing Abilities During a Run

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Dear Random Stranger on the Bike Path,

Let me start by saying you’ll never know how much your words, you noticing, meant to me. To be honest, I’ve always thought of myself as a good snot rocketeer, but to finally get some external validation…well, it feels really good. So thank you for that.

I didn’t even think I had an audience that day, just out for a run, minding my own business.

There were other girls you could have been watching run, but no, you chose me. And in that time you were watching me, you caught me in a most intimate act and together, in that moment, we shared an experience.

As my projectile snot wad was flying through the air, catching the sun in exactly the right way, you noticed the beauty and grace of what I had accomplished. A clean shot with no shrapnel and nothing hanging out — simply a free and clear nasal passage to better help with breathing.

Blowing my nose has always been something I’ve done on the side, more of a hobby. But when I started running, I had to figure out a way to do both of the activities I love together. Years of practice and training have resulted in my perfect snot rocket arc. With the proper velocity, direction and technique, one of my snot rockets can travel far. And I know you, of all people, would agree with me that a well-executed snot rocket really is a work of art.

There will be other snot rockets and many loogies to spit but a lady never forgets the first guy to yell publicly about her talent. Your thumbs-up and shout of “Nice one!” will remain in my heart forever.

 

Appreciatively yours,

Tara

 

Tara is a writer, recovering stand up comedian and slow runner. Looking for a new adventure, she moved her family to Ireland earlier this year and since arriving, has enjoyed learning new slang, drinking pints and answering question’s about America’s sanity. You can read more on her website or find her trying to be funny on Twitter

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